


You Were Meant to Leap

by mlbee



Series: Running Home to You [6]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Arguing, Graduate School, Indecision, M/M, magnus isn't mentioned but he's there i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-21 20:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16583768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mlbee/pseuds/mlbee
Summary: Jonas learns about graduate school, and the heavy decisions that come with it.





	You Were Meant to Leap

Jonas laughed to himself and it bounced around the stairway, wrapping them in echoes.

"What are you giggling about?" Mikael asked as they rounded the corner, walking up the last flight to Jonas's flat.

"I'm just thinking about how badly you wiped out earlier," he said, failing to suppress a smile or even have the decency to look guilty about his enjoyment of Mikael's pain.

"Excuse me," Mikael said, pushing him. "I wouldn't have wiped out if someone hadn't insisted I actually try to skateboard, instead of doing what I really like."

Jonas rolled his eyes and tugged on Mikael's hand pulling him in. "You have plenty of pictures of me skateboarding. Forgive me for wanting the same."

Mikael narrowed his eyes, "You just wanted to see me fall."

"I did not!" Jonas said, stroking Mikael's hair back. "I really just wanted to see how hot you'd look on my board."

"Oh yeah?" Mikael raised an eyebrow.

"Mhmm," Jonas murmured, eyes scraping down Mikael's face.

"And what's the consensus?" he fished.

"Very hot," Jonas said, his chin arching just slightly.

"Good," Mikael murmured, a hair away from his lips. "But I'm never doing it again." He pulled back quickly and started heading toward the door, but Jonas grabbed his wrist.

Mikael spun around and Jonas pressed him against the wall. "Not even if I ask really nicely?" he asked.

"No," Mikael laughed.

"Or if I beg?"

"Not even then," he whispered defiantly.

"We'll see about that," Jonas said. Before Mikael could answer, they were kissing. Jonas's hands found Mikael's and his tongue wove its way into his mouth. Mikael tried to push off the wall, gain the upper hand, but Jonas held him back. He leaned into it then, untangling their hands, wrapping his arms around Jonas's neck, pulling him as close as humanly possible. They kissed and kissed and eventually turned so that Jonas was the one pressed against the wall. They heard a shout coming from the apartment--a cheer of sorts from whatever game the boys were watching or playing--and broke apart.

They stared at each other for a minute, Jonas's eyes still eagerly roaming his face. Mikael cocked his head, bit his lip and said, "Have you got any food? I'm hungry."

Jonas sighed and rolled his eyes, head hitting the wall. "You really know how to kill the mood, don't you?"

"What?" Mikael said innocently, knowing full well he was being a shit, "I'm hungry."

"Yeah I'm sure you are." Jonas pinched his hip and pushed off the wall, entwining their hands for just a moment as they pushed into the apartment.

"Halla boys," Jonas shouted into the living room as he took off his shoes.

“You know we can hear you when you make out against the door?" Isak said by way of greeting, barely looking away from the game.

"It was not the door," Jonas corrected as Mikael blushed pink. "Plus, you have no room to talk. I heard you and Even having sex two days ago."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Isak said while Even looked shameless next to him. "Anyway, how was the skatepark?"

"It was fine," Mikael answered. "Except Jonas is a shit boyfriend who let me fall, so we're breaking up."

"That's probably wise," Mahdi laughed.

“You're all dickheads," Jonas said. "Anyone get the mail today?"

"Yeah, it's on the counter."

Jonas wandered into the kitchen and Mikael sat on the edge of the couch, half paying attention to the Fifa game they played. He mindlessly scrolled through his phone, but after a few minutes Jonas still hadn't returned. He went to see if the kitchen had eaten him and found him leaning against the counter with a letter open in front of him.

"Jon," Mikael asked. "Everything alright?"

Jonas looked at him, hand pressed to his mouth, eyes shining, and Mikael's stomach dropped. His mind started reeling, trying to figure out the best ways to distract or comfort his boyfriend from the news that was in front of him.

He had applied to graduate school months ago, and was slowly starting to hear back. He got in to UiO, which was a given since he was the best in the class, but a few days prior he had gotten rejected from University of Copenhagen, and Stavanger. They were still waiting to hear back about Uppsala, Tromsø, and—

"I got in," he whispered.

"You--" Mikael blinked. "You got in? Like, IN in?"

"I got into Oxford," Jonas said, with a disbelieving laugh. His voice was so quiet, almost as if saying the words out loud would make them untrue.

"You got into Oxford," Mikael said, excitement seeping in.

"I got into Oxford," Jonas said, fully this time. Mikael let out a whoop and rushed to him, hugging him and spinning him around. Jonas shook, with tears and excitement and Mikael held him close.

"I'm so fucking proud of you," he said, holding Jonas's face in both of his hands.

"I don't even know if I'll go," he laughed, the letter jiggled in his hands. "But, it's nice to know I could?"

"Oh, you're so going," Mikael said. He kissed him once, then pulled him into a hug, kissing the top of his head. "My boyfriend, the genius," he whispered, and Jonas laughed.

"I'm not a genius," he said, bashfully.

"Mmm, I see a letter here that would beg to differ?" Mikael teased. He plucked it out of Jonas's hands and began to read, with a very bad English accent. "Dear Mr. Vasquez, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to the Masters of Philosophy in Politics and International relations. On account of your outstanding resume and letters of recommendation, we--"

"It does not say that last part," Jonas laughed, snatching the letter out of his hands.

"Maybe not in those exact words," Mikael said. "But I'm sure it's implied."

Jonas rolled his eyes fondly, "You're a dork."

"Maybe," he shrugged. "But I'm a dork who is super proud of his boyfriend."

"Thanks," he said. "I kind of can't believe it. I've read the letter ten times to make sure I'm not misunderstanding anything but, I'm not. I actually got in."

"Believe it babe," Mikael said with sass. He nudged Jonas's hip with his own where they settled on the counter. Jonas smiled, but was still quiet, processing. Mikael could see his mind working a mile a minute, and he loved him for it. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop him from thinking of every possible outcome for this situation, because he wouldn't be Jonas if he didn't do that. But he did hope he could ground him a little in this moment.

He turned then, wrapping his arms around Jonas's waist, placing his chin on his shoulder. Quietly, he said, "You deserve this you know. It might not seem real, but you worked really hard for it."

"I know," he said softly, squeezing Mikael's arms. "It's just a lot to think about."

Mikael kissed his cheek and hugged him closer. "Try not to think about all that yet. You just got into a school that you've been dreaming about attending since you were fifteen. Enjoy it."

Jonas let out a small laugh. "Okay," he said. "I'll try to enjoy it."

"Good," Mikael said, planting another kiss on him. "Now, how are we celebrating?"

"Are we celebrating?"

Mikael scoffed, "Jonas. You just got into Oxford University. You really think I'm going to let that information slide without celebrating? You clearly have learned nothing in the last year and a half."

"Okay, we can celebrate," Jonas said fondly.

"Great!" Mikael beamed pulling him out into the living room. "Boys, Jonas has something he would like to share." He pushed Jonas forward and smiled as his boyfriend glared at him.

"I, uh," he chewed his words, "I got into Oxford." He held his hands out in a 'so, yeah' type of way, and the boys faces transformed. They all wished him congrats and hugged him, and Jonas beamed quietly beneath the praise.

"So," Mikael clapped his hands, once they were all finished. "Celebratory kebabs and beers?"

The answer was a resounding yes, and they immediately started putting on jackets and shoes. As they walked out of the apartment, Jonas and Mikael took up the rear of the group.

"Thanks," Jonas said to him, hands unconsciously twining.

"For what?"

Jonas shrugged, and laughed softly, "Everything, I guess? For encouraging me to follow through on the application. Being excited about me getting accepted. Making the perfect amount of fuss."

Mikael laughed and squeezed his hand tighter. But Jonas continued, sobering up, "And thanks for being supportive of whatever decision I make. I appreciate you, a lot."

"I'll support you in everything, baby," he said. "You know that."

"I know," he swung their hands between them lightly. "I just wanted to say thanks. I love you."

"You're welcome," Mikael beamed, and he gave him a quick cheek kiss, "I love you too."

By then, they were at the kebab shop, and Mikael bought everyone's food, as well as a couple six-packs because his boyfriend was going to Oxford and he deserved a little celebration, no matter how much he protested. And the rest of the night, Mikael watched Jonas glow quietly with the knowledge that, even if he decided to go to one of the number of other schools he had been accepted to, he was going to continue doing what he loved. And Mikael felt unbelievably proud to be there at his side.

\---

A month later, they were in one of those ridiculously stupid moments that Mikael loved.

The kind where you're both in bed, staring at the other person with such love and affection that you almost can't stand it? And it's nearly impossible to keep the smile off your face, so you do that thing where you bury it in your pillow, but peek out to make sure your person is still looking at you? That's where they were.

"Stop staring at me," Mikael grinned into his pillow. He loved it, secretly. He never thought he'd have this in life, and now that he did, he understood why so many people made so many dumb movies, and why Even devoured them the way he did his entire life. But he had to at least pretend that he was a little annoyed at Jonas. If for no other reason than get him to smile that perfect crooked smile.

"Or what?" Jonas asked, raising an eyebrow, mouth curling up at the corner.

"I'll make you," Mikael said, face emerging slightly, chin jutting out in defiance.

"Oh you will?" Jonas said, moving closer. He leaned over Mikael who turned on his back to follow. "And how will you do that?" he asked, warm breath ghosting over Mikael's lips.

Mikael reached up, and put his hands over Jonas's eyes. "Like this," he said. He grinned when he felt Jonas's eyelashes flutter along the digits of his fingers.

But then, Jonas's lips pressed gently into the skin at the base of his thumb. Mikael kept his hands over his eyes, but Jonas moved his head to kiss his wrist, then down his arm until Mikael let his other arm drop and Jonas was running his lips over the crease of Mikael's elbow before pressing a kiss into the skin.

He continued, kissing up Mikael's bicep, over his shoulder, across his collarbone up to his neck, where Jonas's teeth teased gently over the surface.

"Mmmmm," Mikael breathed, eyes dropping shut. "I'm gonna miss this."

He felt the absence of Jonas's lips like a limb. He blinked, slightly disoriented until he could focus on his boyfriend's eyes.

They were warm, but searching. His brow was furrowed slightly, and Mikael knew he was thinking.

"What's wrong," he asked, propping himself up slightly on his elbows.

"I haven't decided yet," Jonas said.

"Decided what's wrong?" Mikael asked, eyebrow raising. But Jonas just stared at him and, right. Of course.

“I know you haven't," Mikael said reaching up to cup Jonas's jaw. "Not technically at least."

"It's more than a technicality." Jonas jerked his head out of Mikael’s hands and sat back on his thighs. "There are a lot of things to consider," he continued quietly, wringing his hands.

"What else have you got to decide?" Mikael asked.

"Well, price, for one. The actual program, for two. And then there's you."

"Me?" Mikael asked, pointing at his own chest. "What on earth have I got to do with anything?"

"Don't be dumb," Jonas said.

"I'm serious!" Mikael said sitting up. "I don't know why you're factoring me into this at all. I'm not part of the decision except for to support you in whatever you decide."

"Mikael, you're the biggest part of the decision," Jonas said, staring deep into his eyes. "I can't just factor you out."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm in love with you!" Jonas said, voice raising.

"I know that," Mikael said quietly. He started tracing circles into Jonas's knees with his fingertips. "But, Oxford is your dream. It's a dream for anyone who can speak half decent English who is also intelligent enough to actually get into the school. And you did." He cupped Jonas's face in his hands. "You got into one of the best, oldest schools in the whole world. That's an accomplishment even for people with way better circumstances than you."

Jonas said. "But what if it's not right?"

"Do you actually think it might not be right?" he asked. "Or are you only asking because of me?"

"I don't know," Jonas grumbled. "Both I guess."

"Okay," Mikael nodded. He ran his thumbs over Jonas's cheeks. "That's okay. You don't have to get it all sorted today. But you _will_ get it sorted," he pressed their foreheads together. "Because I know you. And I know your mind will not rest until you've looked at this situation from every possible angle."

Jonas huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes fondly.

"But if there's anything I know," Mikael continued, "It's that no matter what you choose, I am going to be here. Emotionally, spiritually...physically too, sometimes."

"You could be here physically all the time," Jonas said.

"I know," Mikael said. "But do you remember what you said to me that first day over kebabs? When we sat in the park?"

Jonas shook his head, curls bouncing gently.

"You told me that your pipe dream was to go to Oxford but--and I quote--'who knows if that will even happen. I don't even know if I'm smart enough'. And now, you have a very real chance to do that. Maybe it will suck. And maybe I'll miss you so much that my life turns into permanent Ramadan and I hardly eat anything," he said, which made Jonas laugh.

"But maybe," he continued softer, hands trailing from Jonas's shoulders, down to the hands that were still worrying in his lap. "Maybe it'll be the best decision you've ever made. And you'll become a professor with your own office and you'll have a degree hanging up that says "Oxford University" and all your students will fawn all over you because 'can you believe he went to OXFORD? Only geniuses go to OXFORD?'"

Jonas laughed, and Mikael raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

"Okay you might be right," Jonas said.

"Of course I'm right," Mikael teased. More seriously he said, "You want this Jonas. You've wanted this longer than I've known you. Take your time because it's a big decision, look at all the different scenarios. Yes, it's absolutely a complicated situation. But don't throw it away just because of me. Not because you'll miss me or i'll miss you or you think we won't be able to do long distance because honestly those excuses are bullshit." Mikael leaned down and pressed a kiss into Jonas's palm. "I am with you, Jonas. And i'll stick out whatever sort of pain and heartbreak this could give us. Because I really do think this is what you were meant to do. And I'd hate myself if I felt like you gave that up just to keep me happy."

Jonas's eyes were shiny as Mikael continued, "This is how people grow right? They throw themselves into difficult situations and learn how to deal with them. We can do that too. Together. Even if we're far apart."

"Okay," Jonas nodded, voice tight. Mikael pulled him into his arms and wrapped him in a strong hug, pressing a kiss into his hair. "Thank you," Jonas whispered into his neck.

"For what?" But before Jonas could speak, Mikael continued. "OH you think I'm doing this for you? Oh no," he pulled back. "I'm just doing it because I can't get over how hot it would be to say 'my boyfriend is getting his master's at Oxford University'."

Jonas rolled his eyes but played along, "Oh that's the only reason?"

“Yeah," Mikael said, chin jutting up defiantly. "It is."

"I hate you so much," Jonas said leaning down to lick inside Mikael's smile.

"No you don't," Mikael murmured against his lips, arms wrapped around his waist as he leaned back into the pillows.

"You're right," Jonas said. "I don't."

\---

Two weeks later, it came to a head.

“UiO is a good school. I could just stay here. Or Tromsø even. That’s not that far.”

“Just because it’s in the same country doesn’t mean it’s closer. It takes nearly as long to fly to Tromsø as it does to England.”

“Yeah, but I don’t even know if my English is good enough to stay at Oxford.

“Jonas,” Mikael said, “They wouldn’t have accepted you if they didn’t think you were capable of going. What is this really about? Why do you keep making up excuses?

“I’m scared okay?” Jonas shouted, standing up. “And I’m _stressed_  because I have to decide soon, and there are so,  _so_ many things to think about. Will it be better to stay and work with professors that I already know, or should I challenge myself and go somewhere new? Am I going to be able to keep up with the coursework, or is it gonna drown me? Should I do something in a completely different language, or is that just some stupid idea I had as a kid that isn’t practical or realistic anymore and I’m just holding on to it for some small belief that I could do something cool? If I do leave, what’s going to happen to us?” Jonas’s eyes started to glisten a bit, “You keep pushing Oxford at me as if it’s the only choice, like it’s the only place I’m going to go, and you’re so keen on me leaving that it makes me wonder if you even want me around at all.”

He collapsed onto the couch next to Mikael and put his head in his hands. “I know you said you shouldn’t be a factor in my decision, but it doesn’t work like that. I don’t know if I can leave you. I don’t know if I want to.”

Mikael’s heart broke for his boyfriend, sitting there turned in on himself. Jonas looked up at him and instantaneously Mikael wrapped him in his arms. Jonas didn’t hug back, but turned his face into the crook of Mikael’s neck and breathed in slowly. They stayed like that, Mikael rubbing Jonas’s back, until Jonas pulled back to look at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were carrying all of this?” Mikael asked.

Jonas laughed once, short, “It’s not really an easy thing to talk about. Especially when you’re so gung-ho about one choice. I felt like I was gonna disappoint you if I even expressed interest in anywhere else.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I thought that’s what you wanted to hear. I didn’t think me trying to be supportive would be what ended up causing you the most stress.”

“It wasn’t the _most_  stress,” Jonas flexed his hand. “It’s just that, on top of all the classwork I’ve had over the past month, plus everything else in my life. I guess it all reached a boiling point.”

“I’m sorry,” Mikael said again. “I haven’t been very good to you, have I?”

“You have,” Jonas said. “You just…get a little excited.”

“A little?” Mikael teased.

“Overwhelmingly excited about the possibilities of the world,” Jonas laughed. “And I love you for it. It just isn’t what I need right now.”

“What do you need right now?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted.

“Do you want me to convince you to stay here?” Mikael asked. He put on a voice and clutched Jonas’s shoulder, “Please Jonas, I’ll cry every day if you’re not in Oslo with me.”

Jonas laughed, and Mikael continued, “You can’t go to Sweden either because they all talk funny and you’ll have a harder time understanding them than you will the Brits. Do those work?”

“They help yeah,” Jonas smiled.

“Whatever you do need though, I’ll give you that,” Mikael said seriously. 

“Room to think,” Jonas asked, “without judgement?”

“Okay,” Mikael nodded, and Jonas rest their heads together. After a while, he said, “I’m not going to be disappointed in whatever you decide, Jonas. I hope you know that.”

“I do, in theory,” Jonas said.

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you open up before. I’ll try to be better about how I talk about it,” he said. “But I do want you to talk to me about it. I can’t promise that I’ll be completely unbiased, but this is your thing. I’m here for _you_  and I want you to make whatever decision you’re going to be happiest with.”

“Okay.”

Jonas looked at him, eyes soft and open, and Mikael pressed their foreheads together, sending a quick prayer to Allah for strength and growth, and a thank you, for the courageous boy in front of him.

**Author's Note:**

> caroline & i have a weird running headcanon that Jonas goes to Oxford, and I honestly don't know where it came from, but you can now pry it from my hands. I realize that Oxford is probably not as posh and glamorous as i imagine, however, indulge me briefly. 
> 
> if you liked it, let me know! Y'all are amazing <3


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